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Monday, June 12, 2006
goodbye..
[[ NiCh^o|a5 ]] | 11:29 AM
Sunday, June 11, 2006
You've chose the right decision to walk that path of life. I'm proud of you for doing that. Don't go back the old ways. It's hurtful just as it's hurting for me right now.
Time was a factor before you told me that last night, now it doesn't matter. And I'm just glad I was able to say a simple bye and a take care. But I wanted you to know I'll miss you one way or another. It took me 6 months to realise that I actually love you. I guess we're just not meant to be.
I'll keep the memories I had with you as long as I shall live. One of them will be that slyish grin on you face when you bent my IC, looking at my fearful face. But sadly, we had such little memories.
Nonetheless, thanks for everything. From the first time we met at Tampines Library, till that very night you made your decision.
Take care and bye.
[[ NiCh^o|a5 ]] | 5:40 PM
Monday, June 05, 2006
Now I realise the importance of a blog. It's a place for you to bitch and rant about your screwed up life.. Or rather MY screwed up life.
Last night I had a very bad cough and it was almost to a point where I just felt like dying. Considering all the pain I'm going through, mentally and physically. Nothing seems worth my effort anymore.
Things at home are madness. People I love, seems to be becoming people I hate. I just don't know what the heck is wrong with me.
Honestly, I'm looking forward to the coming YISS camp. I wanna see what my lovely God has installed for me. Life changing experience? I hope so. Least, if I find peace there..
And no! I shall not want to die. Neither am I going to burden any of my friends with all my Oh-so-depressing problems of N.J.C. I'm just gonna keep it all in me and let it all out by running roung my 498estate. At night at 9.30pm. Shall do that after my exams this week. What inspired me? This young guy who runs round my estate at 9.30pm without fail.. seeing him sweating his problems out seems to be working for him. Shall give it a try. After all, I'm sick of being the size I am now. It's so unproportionate.
Fark. Tomorrow's Finacial Accounting exam. I just HATE the theory part. So goona get a B grade cos of that. No, I cannot get a B. I need.. let me emphasise... NEED an A. I need to do well for now or I'm gonna suffer in the later years of my poly life.
And oh, did I mention I miss you? So badly.. since the day I saw you performed..We haven't spoken for some time. You're busy with school, I'm busy.. waiting for you. Sighs. Why did I let go of you then... I'm such a slut. Forgive me.
[[ NiCh^o|a5 ]] | 6:55 AM
Saturday, May 27, 2006
After reading Hao Guang's blog, I realised I should start doing what he does, to thank the people I have in my life.
The catch is, names will not be menioned, you guys just have to figure it out yourself. =] You can ask me if you want, but no answers guarnteed =]
In no random order yea.
1. You've been my best friend for quite a some time now. Though you're like younger than me, but somehow when I'm with you, you make me feel young again. Although right now, we seldom talk, and I'm seldom there to help you in trival times. But I hope I can be there for you always. I lub you my bestie! =]
2. I seem to make your problems look so simple eh? Well, everything is small as long as you be strong and push your way through the tough times. You'll realise that by the time you're at my age, problems seems to be a breeze for you. But that doesn't mean you should get into trouble ah! =] Take care!
3. You've made such a huge impact in my life. I know I've said stuff I shouldnt have said, but I guess I was just damn angry with you. Although right now we;re not in talking terms, I hope one day fate would bring us back as friends at least. I miss you and I love you and I care for you. I always will. Take care.
4. Small girl but with a big heart. Youve been there for me all these while babe. And I hope I was there for you as well. You and him had been together for two years. I know it's difficult to let go, but there's someone special waiting for you else where. Move on from him, it'll take time and courage, I know.. and I know you're strong and you can do it. Let's pull through this trival times together. Love you babe..
5. I know these few days, I've always talked about him.. and you'll go "HIM AGAIN...." Well, sorry... =X But i still thank you for listening to me. You're my love doctor my friendship doctor. You have the gifts of words. You just make me feel funked up when I'm with you, and I'm loving it! =)
6. I've know you since Primary 3? and we lost contact in Sec 1? And now we;re maintaining a music ministry. You're like my buddy man. And I'm grateful for that. Don't be too stressed out with work alright? Let me know of the burdens I can carry for you. I'll do it as a favour needed to pay back. =]
7. Though we had our pasts, and we both can't seem to move on from that, and that caused our relationship as well as our friendship. I love you, I really do. But I guess I;ve come to accept that, I'm not meant for you. You're wild and verbal, I'm probably the total opposite. I hope you'll be strong and move on... Love you always..
8. I know whenever I talk to you, I don't seem to be interested. But deep down, I really cherish you being with me. Your company and your love. Though we'll never meet, I hope our friendship stays. Muack! ahahahahaha
9. Thanks for being so understanding to my problems. And thanks for making me laugh with your.. erm "weird words" may I put it that way? No offence ahhahaa but I appreciate the fun. =]
10. I know it appers that I only go to you for help. And I know i've neglected you all these while. But I guess you now know about me, and I don't really communicate much. I like keeping things to myself I guess. Sorry...
11. We met somewhere around my birthday, and I hurt you days after my birthday. I know I've been so slutty to do that and I hope you would forgive me. I'm grateful to even have you as a friend now. And now I realise, you were my type, but i just didn't see it. Sighs. Now it's too late. But nonetheless, I hope you'll strive on in your studies and I'm always here for you. =]
That's about it. =] Gonna sleep.. Nites. =]
[[ NiCh^o|a5 ]] | 10:40 AM
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Although I don't know who you are referring to in your nick, I hope the treatment you're giving would help you find the answers.
If it's me who you're avoiding, I hope you would stop. I know I've been cold to you since we stopped seeing each other, but deep in my heart, I still care for you. I guess I loved you too much then, and I found it hard to accept that we're not seeing each other. I needed time, and I hope you understand that.
Sorry for being ignorant about it, but I guess I'm not as verbal as you are.
Whatever it is, I really do hope that you know I love you, I did and I will. I know it's hard to move on from the past, I understand. Even I find it freaking tough to move on from the past. But everytime I see you, I tell myself that you are someone even more special and you are offering me something new, something to keep in my memories.
I don't know if you'll ever read this, but if you do, I wanna tell you that you are someone special and someone talented. If it's my last time gonna reach out to you, I hope you know that there are people who looks up to you. Don't give up on yourself. Take care.
[[ NiCh^o|a5 ]] | 4:22 AM
Saturday, May 20, 2006
I thought that my life would be better in 2006. But guess what, it's not any freaking better.
Yesterday I was walking around town myself, and how I realised.. SO many freaking people look like you. It's not easy to have memories flowing back into your head now and then ya' know.
And PLUS, my group members, 2 of them are from your school. Even during project works or training there's you left all over. When will it ever stop!
Everynight I go home, and I reflect, I reflect the worse senarios. And tears would just stream down.
I guess my life wouldn't be the same.
Things changed. Life's changed and the trust is gone. Who am I to you?
[[ NiCh^o|a5 ]] | 10:54 PM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
[[ NiCh^o|a5 ]] | 9:43 AM
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